Importance of words....

[zenelly]

It's strange sometimes.

For the past two days, I've been in a very bad mood, for reasons I'm sure all the female watchers I have will understand. I get touchy and prickly and in general, I just seem to not do well with anything negative.

(During this time, I also try to avoid replying to reviews, because if I happen to read a concrit one or a bad one, I don't want to be a bitch to them just because I'm in a bad mood.)

But Something my roommate Tyna said last night actually hurt. And it still hurts.

She doesn't like fanfiction anymore.

She doesn't want to read it anymore.

And that just really doesn't make sense to me, because this is my Captain, who was the only person during my summer internship that I could rely on being awake when I needed to text someone to stay sane (because Pixie, though she's my beta, sleeps late). She's the first one who told me that TTB sounded interesting, and she was the one who put up with all of my rambling texts that were seven texts long and mostly incoherent depending on my level of caffeine. And she doesn't like fanfiction anymore.

I don't understand why that hurts. It almost feels like she insulted a little part of me. And that's just silly. I mean, it's not like our friendship is based on fandom. But I like it when my friends like the things I do. I liked knowing that if I sent her something, she would read it. But now she won't.

I'm not too sure what to do about this, and I think I'm just being silly, really....

*siiiigh*

Comments

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

;A; Noooooooo. That's so sad. I hate it when friends don't wanna talk to you about something you're interested in! (OMG. I'M SUCH A HYPOCRITE. I'LL TRY TO LISTEN MORE DORI; PROMISE) You're not being silly though; it's weird when stuff like that changes.

*hugs*

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

It's not like she doesn't like to talk about it, though. She still listens to me ramble, but I just want people I know to read my stuff before I put it up on the internet.

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Well that's nice of her at least, but it is sad that she won't read your stories anymore. ;A; Still, I don't think you're being silly or overreacting or anything. Her saying that she won't read your stories anymore when she always did before is a little weird.

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Yeah. She explained it as the fact that she used to like me, but she got over it, and now thinks it's somehow awkward? I don't know.

*sigh* It's just that if someone passes me a fic, I try to read it as fast as I can, or as soon as I can, but neither my beta nor her will anymore. It's always, "I'll read it sometime."

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Fuuuuu~ That's not fair. ;A; Maybe someone else can read them? (I would...-shot-)

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

*sigh* But I think I'll talk to my beta. She'll probably pick it back up. Thanks for the offer, though~! Would you like to read the first chapter of TTB?

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

:D YESH. I LURVE THAT STORY.

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Okiedokie. I'll send that along then! (Feel free to tell me if anything doesn't make sense. I have your email, I think...)

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

YAY. I FEEL SPECIAL. :D (Yesh, you doooooo~)

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

^^ You should!!

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

I do!

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Did it get to you?

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Nooo... ;A;

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

*whine* rawrkeysnkittykats125@gmail.com, yes?

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Yep. S'not in spam either. ;A; WRY? MAYBE GMAIL SLOW TODAY?

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Want me to send it again?

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Try I guess...but if it doesn't work again then I'll wait a day and see if it shows up.

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Alright, well, I sent it again. Hope it works!

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you gmail. >.

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

*pat pat* It's okay. Gmail's acting up.

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

I'll check it when I get home tomorrow. ;A;

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Okiedokie. T-T Hope it shows up soon....

[key2thekingdom.livejournal.com]

if it doesn't we can docx on FF I guess

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

That's true. >.> We'll figure it out.

When she said that...

[xtorchlightx.livejournal.com]

... it kind of felt like your stomach dropped a bit, didn't it? For some reason whenever someone leaves the 'clique' we always feel terrible. It might be the fact that we are all co-dependent upon each other. We're a group of people who look to others for advice and give it in return. When someone leaves it might hurt mostly because we know they are taking their input from us, saying that they no longer find joy in what we do- what they had taken part of for so long. T~T

Re: When she said that...

[zenelly.livejournal.com]

Exactly. It's not like she doesn't want to talk about it with me anymore, but I sorta liked talking to two people and knowing that they actually read what I wrote. *sigh* But it's alright, I guess. It could've just been the mood she was in last night.