zenelly: (Default)
 First off, how is it already June??

That means I've been unemployed for almost a year, which is frustrating beyond all measure, because it's not like I haven't been trying! But hey, good things come in time, and we've managed to make ends meet so far, so let's just. Keep hoping I guess. Fingers crossed that the job I'm currently interviewing for really wants me bad, because man oh man, will I hop on that like none other.

Anyway, onto more important stuff. Or maybe not more important, but rather the things I actually want to talk about. Fics!

Time for all that writing jazz )

UH OKAY so I think that's all for the monthly state of the union. Good thoughts and vibes RE: that whole job situation would be appreciated, and I hope everyone's doing well! ♥ ♥
zenelly: (Default)
Whoops! Didn't mean to accidentally sort of, uh, stop on here for a little bit, but I am not always the best, and, yknow, it happens.

Especially since I got my Hunter x Hunter Big Bang fic done! It's gr9, imo, but I'm admittedly biased. If you want to read 25k of dragons and baby's first attempt at plot, feel free to go here on AO3

But, yeah, life's still been hitting with all the force and ruthlessness of a freight train, I would still like a break, and also migraines are garbage and I hate them. How's everyone doing?
zenelly: Yzma sighing (Yzma sigh)
 Does anyone else do the post-and-run after they post a fic? Like, you post a chapter and then have to immediately distract yourself from obsessively checking for new comments / kudos / what have you?

Because that's me right now.

I posted up the next chapter of Shimmer in Your Shine, a Leopika roadtrip fanfic, so that's off the to-do list for now. I still have to come up with some more concrete directions the fic needs to head towards, so a bit of a break is gonna be nice.

ANYWAY, back to watching a Persona 4 Let's Play. ^^;;
zenelly: (Default)
 Ahh, the Guster concert was amazing! I'm a little sad they didn't play some of my favorite songs, but that just means I have to find out when they're coming to play again ^^

ANYWAY. Time for me to talk about what I like to talk about best:

It's time for me to talk about writing! )
I'm excited to work on all of it, honestly, so we'll see how much attention I can manage to put into it daily.
zenelly: (Default)
 Ahhh, hello guys, it's nice to have some new people around here!! I'm not always sure what to talk about (and it's been a while since I've, uh, kept an online journal of any variety because WOW did tumblr burn me out) but I'll do my best!


I'm super excited because my sister surprised me with tickets to go see Guster tonight in Richardson!!!! It's one of our favorite bands, something that we both grew to love together, and I'm excited to get to spend a bit of time with her AND see one of my top three bands live. I've always wanted to go to more concerts, but I am easily made nervous, so until one of my roommates (Nick, the music guru of the household) dragged us all to an Aquabats concert, I had never gone at all. Now if I can just see Panic at least once, because they seem like a fun show...

But I'll talk all about it after I get done with the concert! For now, I just have to keep cleaning the disaster that is my closet and hope that I can at least make some sort of headway before I have to leave ;;;

whomp whomp

May. 7th, 2017 06:33 pm
zenelly: (TWEWY - Ready Yourself)
 Years just keep slipping by me! Who even knows how that happens, honestly, but they do.

Basically, a year and a half after that huge change, everything really settled out okay. My job got fucked in the ass, but there's not honestly much I can do about it now aside from drag myself out of this hole and keep going. I want to try being more regular on here again (partially because it's all the little netbook I'm using can handle honestly), so we'll see how that goes. Read: We'll see if I remember.

but YEAH things are going! I'm writing more and more, and the writing only gets better imo. I finally have something for that whole original story deal that I like instead of just tolerate, and it's turning into something pretty damn cool, if I do say so myself. Even if it's hard, because I don't... uh. I don't really know how to write for plot well. But that's something that gets better with practice. So! Practice I must.

Anyway, I'll be hanging around again. Hope to talk to more people, get sort of in the swing of things around here again too. We'll see ^^ Hope everyone's having a good day so far.
zenelly: (Nickolai - Flying Free)
Things have actually been pretty good for a while. Like, not the best, not "everything's perfect," but definitely on the upwards trend of things getting better. And you know what? I'll take it.

I dunno, I just kind of wanted to say that. In the last .... two and a half months? Month? Ish? Things have just gotten a lot less tense, and while that doesn't mean that every problem that everyone's having is immediately gone, it does at least mean that things are easier to breathe through and I feel more capable of helping where I can.
zenelly: (Digimon - C'mere you)
 It feels a bit strange that I'm essentially trying to set up my own personal capital before I even have anything in place.

Like, I'm trying to avoid mentions of my real name attached to any of my social media sites because when (not if, damn it, I can be optimistic) I end up doing that whole Author Thing and Get Published, I really, acutely want my fandom stuff to stay separate. I don't want people to know that Zenelly is the author of so and so book/series/whatever. I want that to be me, and I want Zenelly to just stay a fan, because I want to keep the safe space I have there. 

I'm not planning on denying my involvement with fanfiction. Not in the slightest. I still view it as a terribly useful tool for practicing, and that's what I'm going to keep saying about it, but I'm not... I just don't want Zenelly to get thrown under the bus because of that. Maybe once I'm a bit more established or something, I'll feel differently, but for now...

Well, for now, I avoid mentioning my real name, I'm beginning to avoid things that involve my face for reasons other than crippling self-consciousness, and I guess I feel a bit pretentious doing it. Oh well. Better that than anything else.
zenelly: (GGD - Slide)
 Sorry, I forgot this too but, like, thinking back on it.... just... finishing that project and sending it off, as weird and unreal as it feels right now, it... felt really good.

Getting it done, and spending the last few days before I sent it off just working on that and that alone pretty much felt so good. I'm usually pretty proud of my writing. I know it isn't bad stuff, I just also know that I have a lot to work on. I'm proud of the skill that I've honed and refined and worked on over the last few years, and I can see improvement, but it really doesn't feel like it sometimes, and that is such a large discrepancy that it bothers me a lot sometimes. 

I dunno.

It just cemented the fact that writing is what I want to aim for in my career. More than engineering, I want to continue being a writer. If, for the time being, I have to do both, that's fine.
zenelly: (Default)
So I finished and submitted an original story to a contest the other day.

I'm still not really sure if that was the right thing to do. Like, I know that it really can't hurt me, but at the same time, it still doesn't feel real at all. I don't feel like it's done. I feel like I should be able to just go back and keep working on it and expanding it, and I'm such a sucker for immediate feedback that I'm just.... antsy over not having heard anything.

I showed it to a few friends, but only one of them had the time to read it, and that was before it was done, so I didn't even get any feedback that way because I was running out of time.

I don't know.

I'm just really nervous because I (as always) want people to like it, and I'm not sure it was good enough for that.
zenelly: (KH - Sora Stairs)
 there's a lot going on right now, between everything that's happening internationally and everything that's happening here at home too. it's tough to keep my head above water, but for the most part, i'm managing.

i mean, it's not a luxurious existence, but it's a working one. we have enough for some good things. and with time, everything is rewarded.

(so i keep telling myself.)

BUT AH. I NEED TO FOCUS. So i think it's time for me to go into my room, close the door, plug in the headphones, and try and focus on writing. i'm just shaking from all the stuff that's happening tonight and sick with the fact that there's nothing i can do other than hope it'll all turn out alright. hopefully something will pop up here soon that's a fundraiser or something because. damn. fuck man, idk i just want to help.

If i didn't need to go pick up my girlfriend in a couple of hours, i'd probably be drinking.


Nov. 11th, 2015 10:28 pm
zenelly: (Default)
 Very rarely have I felt more like asking someone to back over me with a truck, and almost never during my birthday month, but man oh man, this week is out to get me and it's only Wednesday.


Aug. 14th, 2015 01:16 pm
zenelly: (Default)
 It's really funny how my boss passed off the email issue as nothing when it panicked me so badly. Just like, what even. I'm glad enough that it's solved now, but now there are ALL OF THESE EMAILS and fuuuuck i have to go through all of them, and jesus christ.

oh well. I know what I get to do for the next few hours.
zenelly: (Default)
Man, it's actually really interesting to read through old drafts of stuff and just WINCE through all of it. My heart was in the right place, but my words were not quite there yet. I'm a lot happier with the stuff I have written now, and it's just. almost really kind of gratifying to know how much I've improved since the last time I attempted this particular story. ^^


Aug. 13th, 2015 09:11 am
zenelly: (Default)
it is absolutely incredible how easily my boss can piss me off by walking into the same room I'm in and talking and i'm just

instantly stressed. It'd be one thing f he actually stopped talking long enough to listen to me (or, god forbid, actually listen to me at all) but instead he seems to just enjoy parroting the same information back at me day in and day out. I wish I could avoid him. Might try to set up a schedule where I can do so.

So pissed off. I'm not a child. I know what my job here is. I'm working on it. Coincidentally, working on it works a lot better when I don't have you taking up my time to talk to me about the things I should be doing. God damn it. 


Aug. 12th, 2015 07:45 am
zenelly: (KH - Liquid Wisdom)
 Alright, so I'm already feeling a lot better today. Like, I can actually focus on things and I might be able to get work done! Hooray! This is excellent. Kind of glad I'm out of that particular funk.

(Protip, kids, menopause at 24 sucks ass.)

But hey, if I can focus, that means I can work, and if I can work, that means that I can spread it out with some sprints, so I might be able to get some work done on my OPRevBang piece, and get some stuff going on my other things too. Maybe. Hopefully. At least the RevBang thing. I sort of have a bit more of a deadline on that one ;;

Either way, Patfuss should have put up one of his podcasts yesterday, so I can listen to those. They're always at least entertaining.
zenelly: (Digimon - C'mere you)
 Alright, so it's been approximately.... forever. it's been a while.

Like, "four years" a while. 

Hey, whatever, right, just. Yeah. I'm sorry, this is probably coming out all kinds of weird and uncertain. my head's not in the best place. Like, not mentally fucked, but just. I can't focus or formulate myself the way I'm used to being able to. I can't really look at anything for longer than a few seconds, so really, the fact that i'm able to write this at all is a really big deal for me.

But hey, here I am.

A lot's been going on. Not all of it good. Most of it is, but. Not all of it. My body's finally giving up on me, in fits and starts. I'm going in to see someone about that eventually, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal for too much longer. I think. 

I hate my job.

Not that I don't do it, or not that I'm not capable of it, but I just don't like it. I'm not interested in it, and it's really not challenging to me, and if my salary wasn't what was keeping my entire apartment afloat, I would... probably not quit, but I'd certainly rest easier. 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, honestly, but I feel a bit better.  Maybe that's why.
zenelly: (TWEWY - My body is ready)
Alright, this is the sticky fic masterlist that I have!

Fic Masterlist! )

This list will be updated as I finish and post more fics!

Fics in Progress:

Devil in Your Hands - (NC-17) [Zemyx, angst, Dark!fic, Multichapter, Empathic!TouchTelepathic!PediactricNurse!Demyx and JustANormalGuy!Zexion, Zexion!POV]
Summary: Nothing in Zexion's life has ever prepared him for such a thing as this. How, exactly, is one supposed to handle finding out that this guy you just met is empathic, and may or may not be self-destructing right before your eyes?
Companion Piece to The Twilight Between.

Various Schmoop Bingo Fills

Sequel to Pants 'R' Us

Monthly One-Shots!

August: Sixty-Nine Things that Turn You On - Zexion and Demyx set-up fic
September: No Title - SideStory to Silence is Golden
October: I'm a Little Lost - Drunk!Inception fic
November: 5+1 - Everyone wants in Zexion's pants, but...
December: Sky Torn in Two - Hamlet Reincarnation Fic
zenelly: (KHR - SHARKFACE)
I think that it's finally time to have a DW was well as an LJ, so here we are.

I'll begin a mass cross posting adventure on here in a few days. Love you all.
zenelly: (Behold!)
Title: Just Conflict Me
Pairing: Seifer/Hayner
Disclaimer: KH isn't mine, isn't mine.
Rating: NC-17. And yes, I do mean in this chapter too.
Summary: Sometimes, Hayner presses into his own bruises just to feel the little sweet burst it gives him. Sometimes, Seifer does it for him. Most of the time, Seifer just gives him the bruises to begin with.
Author's Notes: Um. Yeah. This is my love-song to Seifer/Hayner and masochism all in one go. Used to be called "Counting the Signs" but I changed the name.
Warnings: Underage sex and masturbation. Also, Seifer's a jerk and Hayner's a masochist.

* * * * * *

Part 1 :::: Part 2

* * * * * *

Hayner bares his teeth, because right now, he’s decided that this fucker is the reason he’s been weird all day. )

* * *

End part 3

See what I meant about a lot of parts? And uh, yeah, about you hating me a little. Enter Marluxia, my easy scapegoat for pervy people who I can pair with everyone because even Setzer gives me more willies than Marly does.


zenelly: (Default)
Zenelly Raen

June 2017



RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 20th, 2017 09:47 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios