Just a Beat Out of Place

 Alright, so it's been approximately.... forever. it's been a while.

Like, "four years" a while. 

Hey, whatever, right, just. Yeah. I'm sorry, this is probably coming out all kinds of weird and uncertain. my head's not in the best place. Like, not mentally fucked, but just. I can't focus or formulate myself the way I'm used to being able to. I can't really look at anything for longer than a few seconds, so really, the fact that i'm able to write this at all is a really big deal for me.

But hey, here I am.

A lot's been going on. Not all of it good. Most of it is, but. Not all of it. My body's finally giving up on me, in fits and starts. I'm going in to see someone about that eventually, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal for too much longer. I think. 

I hate my job.

Not that I don't do it, or not that I'm not capable of it, but I just don't like it. I'm not interested in it, and it's really not challenging to me, and if my salary wasn't what was keeping my entire apartment afloat, I would... probably not quit, but I'd certainly rest easier. 

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, honestly, but I feel a bit better.  Maybe that's why.

Ahahahahahaha, writing porn writing porn writing pooooorrrrnnnn

filthy dirty porn

and I'm getting too embarrassed to wriiiite iiiitttt.

(*crawls away to hide face that is red enough to light a country for a week*)