Just a Beat Out of Place

 there's a lot going on right now, between everything that's happening internationally and everything that's happening here at home too. it's tough to keep my head above water, but for the most part, i'm managing.

i mean, it's not a luxurious existence, but it's a working one. we have enough for some good things. and with time, everything is rewarded.

(so i keep telling myself.)

BUT AH. I NEED TO FOCUS. So i think it's time for me to go into my room, close the door, plug in the headphones, and try and focus on writing. i'm just shaking from all the stuff that's happening tonight and sick with the fact that there's nothing i can do other than hope it'll all turn out alright. hopefully something will pop up here soon that's a fundraiser or something because. damn. fuck man, idk i just want to help.

If i didn't need to go pick up my girlfriend in a couple of hours, i'd probably be drinking.

HOW IS IT THAT THE ONE DAY I NEED TO WRITE FIC IS THE ONE DAY THIS WEEK WHERE I'M COMPLETELY OUT OF OFFICE BECAUSE I'M RUNNING AROUND DOING THINGS?????

No, I'm completely serious. It is Zemyx day, and I WILL HAVE FIC, DAMN IT, but the only time I've had to write/plan any of it has been ten minutes of furious texting between me and my Captain at lunch and the five minutes it took me to write that texting in a word document in all caps.

That being sai, I have the WORLD'S MOST FANTASTIC idea for a fic. SO. I am off to write that in the ... hour and fifteen minutes I have left at work. We'll see how far we get.

Alright, it's been my bad for being so out of pocket recently. School work has been absolute hell. (Seriously, I mean, I have six classes on my schedule, two of which are labs. Next week, I have four finals. In the upcoming week and last week, I will have had four tests and five projects due. Including studying for finals. Fuck my college, for real. It is a sad day when I'm excited for my internship.)

But! ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT STRESS!!

My mom.

Ahahah, my mom.

Is coming up to college.

To stay with me.

DURING FINALS WEEK.

TO CLEAN MY GOD-AWFUL MESSY APARTMENT AND SUBTLY CRITICIZE ME FOR NOT DOING IT MYSELF.

Because I need more stress during finals.

So, look, guys, I haven't even written a word of the April one-shot. Unfortunately, at this point, I don't even want to try. And the worst part? I have all of these words thrumming inside me and I want to share them, but I can't. I can't even begin to try. Because if I do, they stop at my fingertips and retreat further inside my marrow where they can't see dayshine.

The point of all of this is to inform you that will write the Gypsy!Demyx oneshot. I swear to you, I will. But it will come out in May, not April. Because I just... I can't, okay? I feel terrible, but I can't. I've tried.

But better news? I did finish TTB chapter 3, you'll notice. I know that not much has happened yet, but I promise that it will? It's not much, I know, and I'm sorry.

AUGH, ALRIGHT, sorry for the whining! I'm off to study and frantically clean and hide the things I don't want my mom to see, since she thinks I am the little pure baby and she could not be more wrong!