Fic: Silence is Golden (6/9)
Aug. 9th, 2010 03:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zenellyTitle: Silence is Golden
Pairing: Zemyx
Disclaimer: KH = NOT MINE.
Dedications: to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
prettypixiechan. Because she is my lovely beta. All other mistakes are my own.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Demyx goes to college, he wants to learn and get his degree. He doesn't want to have a roommate who refuses to speak, a drifter who decides to live in his room, or fall in love. Too bad what Demyx wants is not what Demyx gets.
Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 : Chapter 3 : Chapter 4 : Chapter 5 : Chapter 6 : Chapter 7 : Chapter 8 : Chapter 9
* * * * * *
Sighing, Zexion stared sightlessly at the book in his hands.
Two weeks.
It had been two weeks since Halloween, and things weren't showing any sign of getting easier.
After that night, Demyx had apparently decided that the best course of action was to avoid him at all costs. And Zexion didn't really see a need to stop him. He was confused about his own reactions to that night. Even now he shivered, not sure if the shiver was of fear or a strange sort of excitement. But neither of them really tried to talk to each other. Demyx no longer acted as the unspoken translator for Zexion, and the pale man didn't try to make himself understood by anyone else.
This, of course, led to unexplained tension between the two of them that rubbed off on everyone else.
And now the room was simply oppressive, even when Demyx wasn't in there.
Which was why Zexion was outside their room, sitting on the floor in the miniature study lounge. His back was pressed to the side of a couch and he had tucked himself against the wall to stare out the window. A yawn passed his lips. He was so tired.
Understandably so, since he couldn't lie down and try to sleep without thinking of what it would feel like if Demyx touched him again. He hadn't slept easily since that night. Even now the thoughts were creeping into his head. Would that tingling warmth pass over his entire body in the path of Demyx's hands? How would it feel if those hands weren't just on his abdomen, but everywhere else? Would he still be petrified by the simplest of touches?
He didn't know.
The fact that he was even thinking about it frightened him a little. He was almost…yearning for it to happen again.
He didn't want to think about it.
All it did was drive Demyx away from him.
Zexion closed his eyes briefly, a long harsh breath escaping his lungs. He didn't want to think about it anymore. That's why he had the book.
The sunlight was so warm…perhaps he would just sit here for …just a bit…and read…some…more….
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Demyx raised an eyebrow as he opened up the door to the second floor. Right in front of his dorm room, in the small sitting area that was there, was Axel and the others.
"Uh, guys? Did Axel lock his key in there, or did Zexion just kick you all out?"
The redhead looked at him with a smile, stopping his attempt to cajole Roxas out of one of the chairs. "Hey, there you are! And no, I have my key and the ice princess hasn't done anything just yet." He glanced over towards the window. "Well. Sort of."
Demyx let out a ragged sigh, rubbing his cheek with one hand. He didn't feel like playing Axel's guessing games. "I'm…really not in a good mood right now, Axel. Just come out and say it already."
Blinking at him in surprise –Demyx felt a flash of irritation, wasn't he allowed to have bad days every once in a while?-, Axel motioned him over quickly, pointing to the far side of the chair closest to the window. "You need to see this. But be quiet…" he said as the blonde rolled his eyes and leaned around the chair to see what the vagabond was talking about.
And Demyx caught his breath.
Zexion was sleeping.
Zexion was sleeping, leaning against the chair and the wall, legs curled up against his body.
Zexion was sleeping, a book held in limp hands and resting against his chest. A beam of sunlight fell on him, setting his pale skin aglow, making him seem somehow innocent and Demyx felt a strange singing sensation in his chest. He pressed a hand to it unconsciously. It felt like if he didn't try and protect that peaceful scene, something might break.
His heart, perhaps?
As the musician stared, he slowly came back to himself, suddenly and awkwardly aware that the tiny lounge was silent.
"…we didn't want to wake him up, but we didn't think he should have been left alone out here. So yeah, we came and sat out here with him." Sora explained, blinking curiously at Demyx, probably trying to understand the expression on his face. "Did we do the right thing?"
Demyx let out a shaky sigh and nodded, "Yeah. You did. He…hasn't been sleeping well." If barely sleeping counts as 'not well', anyway….
"So, we were thinking. You should take him back inside. He trusts you, after all, and sleeping in his own bed has to be better than sitting out here." Axel raised a slender eyebrow at him, nodding towards Zexion. "I'll open the door for you so you can bring him in, alright?"
Gathering the warm, slender body in his arms, Demyx nodded. He carefully maneuvered into his room, flushing deeply when Zexion murmured slightly in his sleep and shifted to press his face against Demyx's chest.
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Demyx exited the room after a couple of moments, making sure the door closed softly behind him. Turning to the rest of the group, he gave them a strained smile. "He's asleep."
Axel only raised an eyebrow at him. "Demyx. What are you doing?"
"Um, coming out here to let Zexion sleep?" The blonde blinked, confused, and Axel had to restrain an amused sigh.
"Hey, kid, just to bring this to your attention. We're all out here."
Demyx nodded, obviously not seeing where this was going.
"And Zexion's in there."
Another nod.
"Asleep."
Demyx cocked his head to the side. "Yes, I kinda figured that one out."
"Which means that he-" Axel made sure to emphasize his next words, "-can't hear you. And everyone else is outside. Which means, we can't hear you either." He watched Demyx just so he could see the moment comprehension hit. And it hit in a very unexpected way.
The musician's blue eyes widened, and Axel found himself with armfuls of enthusiastic blonde. Lips, slightly chapped from the cold wind outside, pressed against his and Axel blinked, startled.
"Axel, you have no idea how much I love you right now," Demyx said fiercely, lithe body still leaning against his. He kissed the recovering redhead once more before stepping back and slipping into the darkened room with a smile Axel hadn't seen for a few weeks on his face. Axel touched his lips with a faint grin before rubbing at his tattoo, which had begun to ache lightly with a phantom pain.
"What. Was that?"
The lean man glanced down at Roxas, who was almost glaring at him. He answered, in the most infuriating way he could, "That, I believe, was Demyx Trepe. My roommate and friend. Why?"
Shaking his head, the short blonde stood, crossing his arms and glaring at Axel with ice in his gaze. "I know that," he hissed, "I was talking about the kiss. You're still in love with him." It wasn't a question.
"If you can count loving him as a friend as 'in love', then yes."
Roxas almost growled. Under other circumstances, Axel would have found it funny, but Demyx and Zexion's respective bad moods had been affecting him and all he felt was irritation. Obviously the slight blonde picked up on that and backed off, instead picking a different topic.
"What is that," Roxas jabbed a finger towards his tattoo, "anyway? It means something to you, doesn't it?" He flushed, obviously realizing how that sounded, and muttered, "Not…that I've noticed or anything, but it looks like it hurts sometimes. You rub it a lot."
Axel blinked at him for a second before a lazy smile traced his lips. "Oh, it means something alright, Roxy. It's a reminder."
The others were silent, watching the confrontation between him and Roxas with worried, in the case of Sora, or amused, in the case of everyone else, eyes.
"A reminder of what?"
"I'm a wanderer, as I'm sure you've noticed, Blondie. I've been to hundreds of places, and I've left them all. This," he traced the tattoo with a gentle finger, "is a reminder of the only place I knew I would regret leaving before I actually left. I decided to brand it into my skin as a constant reminder, and I made a promise to myself that I would give myself only ten times to leave somewhere and regret it before I left. So, if I do, there are spots for other tattoos beneath my other eye, the insides of my wrists and ankles, and the outsides of my wrists and ankles. If I leave ten places that I know I'll regret leaving, then I need to rethink my life plans."
Roxas was silent for a brief, blessed second. "You got that when you left the place where you met Demyx." The small twin seemed to have a talent for making questions into statements.
Axel shook his head, red hair whispering around his shoulders. "No, I got it before I left Demyx. I only regretted leaving because I did love him, as much as a sixteen-year-old could love someone."
"If…if you left tomorrow, would you get another one?"
"…" The question honestly startled Axel. It seemed important to the small blonde, somehow, in a way that question really shouldn't be. "I…don't know. I'm not in love with Demyx anymore, and while Zexion's fun to tease and I like him a lot, I'm not sure there's anyone I couldn't live without here." The lanky man smiled curiously at Roxas, "This is the longest I've stayed anywhere, though, and I don't feel the need to leave any time soon, so we'll see."
"So you might not-"
He cut the blonde off curtly, "Don't say it. Not until I do first." It was bad luck to say he might not leave a place. It made him feel trapped. Made him want to leave.
Something fragile yet determined entered Roxas's blue eyes. "I think you'll have to get one, if you leave," he said softly, staring hard at Axel as if he was trying to brand the words into his mind.
Axel's eyes widened. A lump of warmth entered his chest, settling gently into place as if it had always been there, and he smiled slightly. "…I might."
"No, you will."
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Demyx didn't turn to face the inside of the room at first, taking a huge amount of care to make sure the door closed quietly. He took a couple of breaths to steady himself, unsure of why his heart was pounding so much, and finally looked over at the sleeping form on the bed.
Curled on his side facing the wall, Zexion was breathing lightly and his eyelashes fluttered on pale cheeks. The blonde smiled gently at that and felt the anxiety he had been carrying bleed away. Stepping closer to the bed, he grabbed a chair and sat on it, looking at Zexion's back.
"So, yeah. It's been a while since this has happened, hasn't it?" Demyx asked quietly, his voice soft and calm. "I…I really miss talking to you like this. Part of it is my fault, since I've been avoiding you recently, and boy," he laughed slightly, careful to not be too loud, "that didn't work out as planned."
Demyx was silent for a few minutes, content to just watch Zexion sleep. He took a deep breath and continued.
"Did you know, Zexion? The air is starting to smell like ice and food. That's how I can always tell that it's getting close to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even our room smells like cinnamon buns. It's nice, truly, it is. I always love Christmas. The lights and everything... it just feels nicer around that time. Like the world itself is getting ready for a celebration. Otherwise there's no reason for the air to smell different.
"The wind is getting stronger. It's really fun to walk outside with it like that, blowing against you so hard you can feel it like it was a person. Feels like those rides in amusement parks, the ones that spin you around? Everything you know is upside down, and gravity changes direction. It's really exhilarating. Makes me wish I could fly, to feel the wind like that all the time. It's like fast-driven rock music, you know? All backbeat and energy that just carries you up and makes you want to run for the simple joy of movement.
"Hey, Zexion, interesting thing. My mom wants me to come home for Christmas. I suppose that's not too strange, but I'm wondering where you're going to go. Are you going back home? If you aren't…I'm going to see if Mama will let you come back with me," the blonde murmured softly. "There are some things at home that I want to show you.
"Like the night sky. Have you ever really seen the stars, Zexion? There's a place, maybe an hour or so away from my house where you can see everything in the sky. If you go before the moon rises, you can even see the Milky Way and all the stars. Though I'm sure you can name more constellations than I can," he laughed.
Another silence fell, Demyx crossing his elbows on the bed.
He took a deep breath. "If….If you could come home with me, would you? I'll probably have to ask again, but still, I wanted to ask you now. I would show you the cliff that you can see both halves of the town on. It's a great place to see the setting sun. That's the place where I went to try and catch it, the light that is. It means a lot to me. Oh, and the coffee shop. They have huge jars of tea there. I'm sure you'd like it."
Demyx wasn't sure how to broach the next subject, but even if he was the only one who heard it, he knew it had to be said.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I was avoiding you. It's just…Zexion, you're so…" the musician bit his lip, trying to come up with the right words. "I couldn't help myself on Halloween, and I can tell that it freaked you out. After all, you….don't really know how I feel about you, and I have to remember that no matter how much I tell you while we're in here, you're never able to hear me.
"That…I don't know if that makes it easier or harder for me, you not knowing. Because…Because I love you, Zexion. It's not just 'like' or some sort of high school crush, I think I really love you." The blonde was gasping softly, rubbing his cheeks to rid them of the tears that had begun to flow. "And there are times where I can't stand being too far away from you, and I just want to cuddle up to you, hold you, be held by you, and I know that can't happen, because I don't know if you like me back."
He bowed his head over the mattress, pressing his face into the warm sheets, trying to still the flow of tears. Why was he crying? It didn't make any sense.
"I…I love you so much, Zexion," his voice broke, "I love you so much it hurts. I think…The last thing I want is for you to hate me. There's not…I can't ever tell you because I'm too scared. I'm a big coward when it comes to this. I never told Axel I loved him until he made the first move, but I know you're not going to, because you probably don't like me like that. If there's…even the slightest chance, though…please, Zexion, give me that chance…I want to know you.
"I wonder what your voice sounds like, you know. I'm sure that it fits you, but what will it sound like after you haven't spoken for so long? Will it be hoarser than it normally is? Softer?" He lifted his head and reached out to brush Zexion's hair gently with his fingertips, his smile shaking a little bit. "You know, your hair is really soft. I've wanted to touch it since I met you. God, I'm such a mess sometimes. I…I love you, Zexion."
Those three powerful words were getting easier to say, and Demyx felt the weight on his chest lifting every time he said them. He repeated them over and over again, fingers softly combing Zexion's hair, and every time he felt a bit better, knowing that he had finally said it.
Finally, the room drifted into silence, Demyx still petting Zexion. He stood, regretfully letting his fingers leave Zexion.
"I'm going to let you actually sleep now, without me jabbering at you." The blonde smiled, and he knew it wasn't as strained as it had been for the last couple of weeks. "Sleep well, Zexion. I love you."
And he left the room.
He never noticed the glint of cobalt blue eyes, wide and staring at the wall.
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Axel looked up as Demyx came in. He took in the sight of the blonde, who was smiling as though the sun were coming up even though there were tear tracks down his face, and opened his arms.
Something in Demyx's eyes broke and he ran forward, curling himself into Axel's arms. The redhead held him, murmured nonsense words, and stroked his back as the blonde sobbed quietly. There was nothing of heartbreak in the sound of the tears, just the sound of release. Smiling softly, Axel soothed Demyx. He knew that the weight the musician had been carrying was too much to bear.
"Feel better now?"
Demyx sniffled but nodded, stepping out of Axel's hold to rub at his eyes. "Mmm, but I've been crying too much. Now I have a headache."
Axel laughed quietly. "Yeah, I can imagine. You weren't in there as long as I thought you would be. Got everything said that needed to be said?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I did."
The door to the room opened, and Zexion stepped out, looking slightly shell-shocked. His eyes snapped to Demyx, taking in his red and tear-stained face, and after a few moments of careful consideration, he went back inside.
Demyx sighed. "Great. He's still avoiding me."
"I'm not so sure, kid. Just wait." Axel leaned against the nearest wall.
A few seconds later, Zexion exited again, a glass of water in his hand. He stepped cautiously up to Demyx and offered it to him, as well as two white pills. Demyx smiled at him and took them, cradling the cup of water against his chest.
"Thanks, Zexy. I needed that."
Zexion shrugged with one shoulder and carefully reached up, brushing off some remaining tears.
The blonde musician blinked and blushed, shaking his head a little. "Oh, don't worry about it. By the way, Zexy, I'm sorry for how I've-" He was cut off by a pale finger on his lips.
Even from where he was standing, Axel could tell that Zexion was shaking a little, but the lilac-haired man only shook his head and tilted it to the side, shrugging with a slight smile.
"Are you sure?" Demyx asked, and yet again Axel had to wonder at the ease of their communication.
A nod.
Demyx smiled again. "Well, come on, then. It's lunchtime and I'm hungry."
Zexion nodded, letting his hand drop from Demyx's face before turning to Axel with an expression of distaste on his face. Stepping closer to the redhead, he snapped his fingers and gestured him closer.
Axel leaned back, grinning just to infuriate the smaller man.
Rolling his eyes, Zexion reached up and grabbed Axel, pulling him down to mouth something against his ear. As quickly as it happened, Axel was released, and the pale man was disappearing down the steps. He looked quizzically at Demyx, who only shrugged and followed Zexion.
Tapping his foot, Roxas stared at him. "What'd he say?"
Axel smiled at the blonde. "Oh, nothing much, Roxy. Nothing much at all." And he wrapped an arm around Roxas, noting that he didn't push it off as quickly as he had before. The words Zexion had 'said' to him, though, revolved in his brain, and the redhead smiled again. Things were looking up.
"…Thank you…."
* * * * * *
Chapter 7....
Pairing: Zemyx
Disclaimer: KH = NOT MINE.
Dedications: to
prettypixiechan. Because she is my lovely beta. All other mistakes are my own. Rating: PG-13
Summary: When Demyx goes to college, he wants to learn and get his degree. He doesn't want to have a roommate who refuses to speak, a drifter who decides to live in his room, or fall in love. Too bad what Demyx wants is not what Demyx gets.
Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 : Chapter 3 : Chapter 4 : Chapter 5 : Chapter 6 : Chapter 7 : Chapter 8 : Chapter 9
* * * * * *
Sighing, Zexion stared sightlessly at the book in his hands.
Two weeks.
It had been two weeks since Halloween, and things weren't showing any sign of getting easier.
After that night, Demyx had apparently decided that the best course of action was to avoid him at all costs. And Zexion didn't really see a need to stop him. He was confused about his own reactions to that night. Even now he shivered, not sure if the shiver was of fear or a strange sort of excitement. But neither of them really tried to talk to each other. Demyx no longer acted as the unspoken translator for Zexion, and the pale man didn't try to make himself understood by anyone else.
This, of course, led to unexplained tension between the two of them that rubbed off on everyone else.
And now the room was simply oppressive, even when Demyx wasn't in there.
Which was why Zexion was outside their room, sitting on the floor in the miniature study lounge. His back was pressed to the side of a couch and he had tucked himself against the wall to stare out the window. A yawn passed his lips. He was so tired.
Understandably so, since he couldn't lie down and try to sleep without thinking of what it would feel like if Demyx touched him again. He hadn't slept easily since that night. Even now the thoughts were creeping into his head. Would that tingling warmth pass over his entire body in the path of Demyx's hands? How would it feel if those hands weren't just on his abdomen, but everywhere else? Would he still be petrified by the simplest of touches?
He didn't know.
The fact that he was even thinking about it frightened him a little. He was almost…yearning for it to happen again.
He didn't want to think about it.
All it did was drive Demyx away from him.
Zexion closed his eyes briefly, a long harsh breath escaping his lungs. He didn't want to think about it anymore. That's why he had the book.
The sunlight was so warm…perhaps he would just sit here for …just a bit…and read…some…more….
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Demyx raised an eyebrow as he opened up the door to the second floor. Right in front of his dorm room, in the small sitting area that was there, was Axel and the others.
"Uh, guys? Did Axel lock his key in there, or did Zexion just kick you all out?"
The redhead looked at him with a smile, stopping his attempt to cajole Roxas out of one of the chairs. "Hey, there you are! And no, I have my key and the ice princess hasn't done anything just yet." He glanced over towards the window. "Well. Sort of."
Demyx let out a ragged sigh, rubbing his cheek with one hand. He didn't feel like playing Axel's guessing games. "I'm…really not in a good mood right now, Axel. Just come out and say it already."
Blinking at him in surprise –Demyx felt a flash of irritation, wasn't he allowed to have bad days every once in a while?-, Axel motioned him over quickly, pointing to the far side of the chair closest to the window. "You need to see this. But be quiet…" he said as the blonde rolled his eyes and leaned around the chair to see what the vagabond was talking about.
And Demyx caught his breath.
Zexion was sleeping.
Zexion was sleeping, leaning against the chair and the wall, legs curled up against his body.
Zexion was sleeping, a book held in limp hands and resting against his chest. A beam of sunlight fell on him, setting his pale skin aglow, making him seem somehow innocent and Demyx felt a strange singing sensation in his chest. He pressed a hand to it unconsciously. It felt like if he didn't try and protect that peaceful scene, something might break.
His heart, perhaps?
As the musician stared, he slowly came back to himself, suddenly and awkwardly aware that the tiny lounge was silent.
"…we didn't want to wake him up, but we didn't think he should have been left alone out here. So yeah, we came and sat out here with him." Sora explained, blinking curiously at Demyx, probably trying to understand the expression on his face. "Did we do the right thing?"
Demyx let out a shaky sigh and nodded, "Yeah. You did. He…hasn't been sleeping well." If barely sleeping counts as 'not well', anyway….
"So, we were thinking. You should take him back inside. He trusts you, after all, and sleeping in his own bed has to be better than sitting out here." Axel raised a slender eyebrow at him, nodding towards Zexion. "I'll open the door for you so you can bring him in, alright?"
Gathering the warm, slender body in his arms, Demyx nodded. He carefully maneuvered into his room, flushing deeply when Zexion murmured slightly in his sleep and shifted to press his face against Demyx's chest.
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Demyx exited the room after a couple of moments, making sure the door closed softly behind him. Turning to the rest of the group, he gave them a strained smile. "He's asleep."
Axel only raised an eyebrow at him. "Demyx. What are you doing?"
"Um, coming out here to let Zexion sleep?" The blonde blinked, confused, and Axel had to restrain an amused sigh.
"Hey, kid, just to bring this to your attention. We're all out here."
Demyx nodded, obviously not seeing where this was going.
"And Zexion's in there."
Another nod.
"Asleep."
Demyx cocked his head to the side. "Yes, I kinda figured that one out."
"Which means that he-" Axel made sure to emphasize his next words, "-can't hear you. And everyone else is outside. Which means, we can't hear you either." He watched Demyx just so he could see the moment comprehension hit. And it hit in a very unexpected way.
The musician's blue eyes widened, and Axel found himself with armfuls of enthusiastic blonde. Lips, slightly chapped from the cold wind outside, pressed against his and Axel blinked, startled.
"Axel, you have no idea how much I love you right now," Demyx said fiercely, lithe body still leaning against his. He kissed the recovering redhead once more before stepping back and slipping into the darkened room with a smile Axel hadn't seen for a few weeks on his face. Axel touched his lips with a faint grin before rubbing at his tattoo, which had begun to ache lightly with a phantom pain.
"What. Was that?"
The lean man glanced down at Roxas, who was almost glaring at him. He answered, in the most infuriating way he could, "That, I believe, was Demyx Trepe. My roommate and friend. Why?"
Shaking his head, the short blonde stood, crossing his arms and glaring at Axel with ice in his gaze. "I know that," he hissed, "I was talking about the kiss. You're still in love with him." It wasn't a question.
"If you can count loving him as a friend as 'in love', then yes."
Roxas almost growled. Under other circumstances, Axel would have found it funny, but Demyx and Zexion's respective bad moods had been affecting him and all he felt was irritation. Obviously the slight blonde picked up on that and backed off, instead picking a different topic.
"What is that," Roxas jabbed a finger towards his tattoo, "anyway? It means something to you, doesn't it?" He flushed, obviously realizing how that sounded, and muttered, "Not…that I've noticed or anything, but it looks like it hurts sometimes. You rub it a lot."
Axel blinked at him for a second before a lazy smile traced his lips. "Oh, it means something alright, Roxy. It's a reminder."
The others were silent, watching the confrontation between him and Roxas with worried, in the case of Sora, or amused, in the case of everyone else, eyes.
"A reminder of what?"
"I'm a wanderer, as I'm sure you've noticed, Blondie. I've been to hundreds of places, and I've left them all. This," he traced the tattoo with a gentle finger, "is a reminder of the only place I knew I would regret leaving before I actually left. I decided to brand it into my skin as a constant reminder, and I made a promise to myself that I would give myself only ten times to leave somewhere and regret it before I left. So, if I do, there are spots for other tattoos beneath my other eye, the insides of my wrists and ankles, and the outsides of my wrists and ankles. If I leave ten places that I know I'll regret leaving, then I need to rethink my life plans."
Roxas was silent for a brief, blessed second. "You got that when you left the place where you met Demyx." The small twin seemed to have a talent for making questions into statements.
Axel shook his head, red hair whispering around his shoulders. "No, I got it before I left Demyx. I only regretted leaving because I did love him, as much as a sixteen-year-old could love someone."
"If…if you left tomorrow, would you get another one?"
"…" The question honestly startled Axel. It seemed important to the small blonde, somehow, in a way that question really shouldn't be. "I…don't know. I'm not in love with Demyx anymore, and while Zexion's fun to tease and I like him a lot, I'm not sure there's anyone I couldn't live without here." The lanky man smiled curiously at Roxas, "This is the longest I've stayed anywhere, though, and I don't feel the need to leave any time soon, so we'll see."
"So you might not-"
He cut the blonde off curtly, "Don't say it. Not until I do first." It was bad luck to say he might not leave a place. It made him feel trapped. Made him want to leave.
Something fragile yet determined entered Roxas's blue eyes. "I think you'll have to get one, if you leave," he said softly, staring hard at Axel as if he was trying to brand the words into his mind.
Axel's eyes widened. A lump of warmth entered his chest, settling gently into place as if it had always been there, and he smiled slightly. "…I might."
"No, you will."
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Demyx didn't turn to face the inside of the room at first, taking a huge amount of care to make sure the door closed quietly. He took a couple of breaths to steady himself, unsure of why his heart was pounding so much, and finally looked over at the sleeping form on the bed.
Curled on his side facing the wall, Zexion was breathing lightly and his eyelashes fluttered on pale cheeks. The blonde smiled gently at that and felt the anxiety he had been carrying bleed away. Stepping closer to the bed, he grabbed a chair and sat on it, looking at Zexion's back.
"So, yeah. It's been a while since this has happened, hasn't it?" Demyx asked quietly, his voice soft and calm. "I…I really miss talking to you like this. Part of it is my fault, since I've been avoiding you recently, and boy," he laughed slightly, careful to not be too loud, "that didn't work out as planned."
Demyx was silent for a few minutes, content to just watch Zexion sleep. He took a deep breath and continued.
"Did you know, Zexion? The air is starting to smell like ice and food. That's how I can always tell that it's getting close to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even our room smells like cinnamon buns. It's nice, truly, it is. I always love Christmas. The lights and everything... it just feels nicer around that time. Like the world itself is getting ready for a celebration. Otherwise there's no reason for the air to smell different.
"The wind is getting stronger. It's really fun to walk outside with it like that, blowing against you so hard you can feel it like it was a person. Feels like those rides in amusement parks, the ones that spin you around? Everything you know is upside down, and gravity changes direction. It's really exhilarating. Makes me wish I could fly, to feel the wind like that all the time. It's like fast-driven rock music, you know? All backbeat and energy that just carries you up and makes you want to run for the simple joy of movement.
"Hey, Zexion, interesting thing. My mom wants me to come home for Christmas. I suppose that's not too strange, but I'm wondering where you're going to go. Are you going back home? If you aren't…I'm going to see if Mama will let you come back with me," the blonde murmured softly. "There are some things at home that I want to show you.
"Like the night sky. Have you ever really seen the stars, Zexion? There's a place, maybe an hour or so away from my house where you can see everything in the sky. If you go before the moon rises, you can even see the Milky Way and all the stars. Though I'm sure you can name more constellations than I can," he laughed.
Another silence fell, Demyx crossing his elbows on the bed.
He took a deep breath. "If….If you could come home with me, would you? I'll probably have to ask again, but still, I wanted to ask you now. I would show you the cliff that you can see both halves of the town on. It's a great place to see the setting sun. That's the place where I went to try and catch it, the light that is. It means a lot to me. Oh, and the coffee shop. They have huge jars of tea there. I'm sure you'd like it."
Demyx wasn't sure how to broach the next subject, but even if he was the only one who heard it, he knew it had to be said.
"I'm sure you're wondering why I was avoiding you. It's just…Zexion, you're so…" the musician bit his lip, trying to come up with the right words. "I couldn't help myself on Halloween, and I can tell that it freaked you out. After all, you….don't really know how I feel about you, and I have to remember that no matter how much I tell you while we're in here, you're never able to hear me.
"That…I don't know if that makes it easier or harder for me, you not knowing. Because…Because I love you, Zexion. It's not just 'like' or some sort of high school crush, I think I really love you." The blonde was gasping softly, rubbing his cheeks to rid them of the tears that had begun to flow. "And there are times where I can't stand being too far away from you, and I just want to cuddle up to you, hold you, be held by you, and I know that can't happen, because I don't know if you like me back."
He bowed his head over the mattress, pressing his face into the warm sheets, trying to still the flow of tears. Why was he crying? It didn't make any sense.
"I…I love you so much, Zexion," his voice broke, "I love you so much it hurts. I think…The last thing I want is for you to hate me. There's not…I can't ever tell you because I'm too scared. I'm a big coward when it comes to this. I never told Axel I loved him until he made the first move, but I know you're not going to, because you probably don't like me like that. If there's…even the slightest chance, though…please, Zexion, give me that chance…I want to know you.
"I wonder what your voice sounds like, you know. I'm sure that it fits you, but what will it sound like after you haven't spoken for so long? Will it be hoarser than it normally is? Softer?" He lifted his head and reached out to brush Zexion's hair gently with his fingertips, his smile shaking a little bit. "You know, your hair is really soft. I've wanted to touch it since I met you. God, I'm such a mess sometimes. I…I love you, Zexion."
Those three powerful words were getting easier to say, and Demyx felt the weight on his chest lifting every time he said them. He repeated them over and over again, fingers softly combing Zexion's hair, and every time he felt a bit better, knowing that he had finally said it.
Finally, the room drifted into silence, Demyx still petting Zexion. He stood, regretfully letting his fingers leave Zexion.
"I'm going to let you actually sleep now, without me jabbering at you." The blonde smiled, and he knew it wasn't as strained as it had been for the last couple of weeks. "Sleep well, Zexion. I love you."
And he left the room.
He never noticed the glint of cobalt blue eyes, wide and staring at the wall.
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Axel looked up as Demyx came in. He took in the sight of the blonde, who was smiling as though the sun were coming up even though there were tear tracks down his face, and opened his arms.
Something in Demyx's eyes broke and he ran forward, curling himself into Axel's arms. The redhead held him, murmured nonsense words, and stroked his back as the blonde sobbed quietly. There was nothing of heartbreak in the sound of the tears, just the sound of release. Smiling softly, Axel soothed Demyx. He knew that the weight the musician had been carrying was too much to bear.
"Feel better now?"
Demyx sniffled but nodded, stepping out of Axel's hold to rub at his eyes. "Mmm, but I've been crying too much. Now I have a headache."
Axel laughed quietly. "Yeah, I can imagine. You weren't in there as long as I thought you would be. Got everything said that needed to be said?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I did."
The door to the room opened, and Zexion stepped out, looking slightly shell-shocked. His eyes snapped to Demyx, taking in his red and tear-stained face, and after a few moments of careful consideration, he went back inside.
Demyx sighed. "Great. He's still avoiding me."
"I'm not so sure, kid. Just wait." Axel leaned against the nearest wall.
A few seconds later, Zexion exited again, a glass of water in his hand. He stepped cautiously up to Demyx and offered it to him, as well as two white pills. Demyx smiled at him and took them, cradling the cup of water against his chest.
"Thanks, Zexy. I needed that."
Zexion shrugged with one shoulder and carefully reached up, brushing off some remaining tears.
The blonde musician blinked and blushed, shaking his head a little. "Oh, don't worry about it. By the way, Zexy, I'm sorry for how I've-" He was cut off by a pale finger on his lips.
Even from where he was standing, Axel could tell that Zexion was shaking a little, but the lilac-haired man only shook his head and tilted it to the side, shrugging with a slight smile.
"Are you sure?" Demyx asked, and yet again Axel had to wonder at the ease of their communication.
A nod.
Demyx smiled again. "Well, come on, then. It's lunchtime and I'm hungry."
Zexion nodded, letting his hand drop from Demyx's face before turning to Axel with an expression of distaste on his face. Stepping closer to the redhead, he snapped his fingers and gestured him closer.
Axel leaned back, grinning just to infuriate the smaller man.
Rolling his eyes, Zexion reached up and grabbed Axel, pulling him down to mouth something against his ear. As quickly as it happened, Axel was released, and the pale man was disappearing down the steps. He looked quizzically at Demyx, who only shrugged and followed Zexion.
Tapping his foot, Roxas stared at him. "What'd he say?"
Axel smiled at the blonde. "Oh, nothing much, Roxy. Nothing much at all." And he wrapped an arm around Roxas, noting that he didn't push it off as quickly as he had before. The words Zexion had 'said' to him, though, revolved in his brain, and the redhead smiled again. Things were looking up.
"…Thank you…."
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Chapter 7....
