![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zenellyNot dead, just busy, I swear.
ONE MORE WEEK OF WORK. It turns out that I miscalculated last week. I leave work next Thursday. (Hopefully, I won't have another fiasco with that whole "accidentally leaving the porn flash drive at work" thing like I did last year.) SAN JAPAN THIS WEEKEND, SUPER EXCITE!! I might get to see![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pandapplesaurus there, too! *waves* I'll be the person dressed normally with a Red Scout and N Harmonia on Friday and with Dib and Zim on Saturday. (N will be back on Sunday, but I'm not cosplaying this con. Too little time, too much to do)
Um. I'd love to say that I've been writing, but that would be a bare-faced lie. I haven't written a word of anything outside of fleshing out some ideas since last ... Thursday. What in the world have I been doing in the meantime (as I *cough*erroneously*cough* assume you're wondering)?
Reading.
Like, reading a lot of fic for fandoms that I've just let stew for a while. Especially you, Inception fandom, hello there THard and JGL and all of the sexy that comes along with you. *cough* That aside... There's one thing that I've been noticing a lot of. In fics, in general, not just Inception fics, and I'm not exactly sure how to go about talking about it.
Well.
Um.
Masochism.
As in, getting off on recieving pain, etc etc, you all read fics, you know what I'm talking about.
I don't... I don't like how it's portrayed in fics, because for me it's not an accurate description. (It's like reading the parts in blowjob fics where the author mentions teeth-on-cock during the blowjob, and I have heard from multiple guys, straight, gay, bi, that that does not, in any way, feel good.) Because I am a masochist. Things that should register as pain for other people turn me on. Whipping and what-have-you. *handwaves*
That's not the important part.
The important part is the fact that in all these fics, I keep hearing about the pain aspect of it, or the fic is told from the pain-giver's PoV. (and I can bet that anyone reading this is going to be like "...but Zene, it's MASOCHISM, hello PAIN" but see, that's where you're wrong.)
For me, I don't feel pain. Like, I CAN feel it. Certain things, like hot glue or cuts, do register as pain normally. I stub my toe and that shit is PAINFUL. But on the flip side, I can also (this is a true story) get my lanyard caught on my desk and it will drag across the back of my neck, giving me a small case of ropeburn on my neck and causing me to have to sit at my desk for a few minutes while I try to get my breathing back under control and my eyes are having trouble focusing because that felt so good.
But the point is that, while getting the ropeburn was a painful thing, I never actually FELT any of it. I didn't actively feel pain, I just registered it as "rough texture, feels good" and it was hard enough that it felt REALLY good.
So really, my point is that I don't know if any of the people writing the fics are actually masochists, because I'm not always sure that they know how it really feels. Because, let me tell you, pain does NOT come into it. IF there's a bit of a bite to it, it doesn't feel any different than someone dragging their nails across your skin. A tiny little counterpoint that really just gives a more definite LOCATION for where the pleasure is.
I TOLD YOU ALL THATTO EMBARRASS YOU SO I COULD TELL YOU THIS:
I am totally writing a Seifer/Hayner fic where Hayner's a masochist. It's mostly going to be me exploring how best to explain my own masochism (because, hey, everyone's different, maybe other people DO feel pain? Maybe I just have a really high threshold? I don't know) in terms of fic. Also because Seifer/Hayner is my go-to pairing when kinky shit is about to go down, because I can't get a plotbunny for them to save my life, but DAMN do those boys want to get into bed with each other.
...um.
TL;DR, I'm writing a porny fic with Seifer/Hayner because I am dissatified with general fandom portrayal of masochism.
ONE MORE WEEK OF WORK. It turns out that I miscalculated last week. I leave work next Thursday. (Hopefully, I won't have another fiasco with that whole "accidentally leaving the porn flash drive at work" thing like I did last year.) SAN JAPAN THIS WEEKEND, SUPER EXCITE!! I might get to see
pandapplesaurus there, too! *waves* I'll be the person dressed normally with a Red Scout and N Harmonia on Friday and with Dib and Zim on Saturday. (N will be back on Sunday, but I'm not cosplaying this con. Too little time, too much to do)Um. I'd love to say that I've been writing, but that would be a bare-faced lie. I haven't written a word of anything outside of fleshing out some ideas since last ... Thursday. What in the world have I been doing in the meantime (as I *cough*erroneously*cough* assume you're wondering)?
Reading.
Like, reading a lot of fic for fandoms that I've just let stew for a while. Especially you, Inception fandom, hello there THard and JGL and all of the sexy that comes along with you. *cough* That aside... There's one thing that I've been noticing a lot of. In fics, in general, not just Inception fics, and I'm not exactly sure how to go about talking about it.
Well.
Um.
Masochism.
As in, getting off on recieving pain, etc etc, you all read fics, you know what I'm talking about.
I don't... I don't like how it's portrayed in fics, because for me it's not an accurate description. (It's like reading the parts in blowjob fics where the author mentions teeth-on-cock during the blowjob, and I have heard from multiple guys, straight, gay, bi, that that does not, in any way, feel good.) Because I am a masochist. Things that should register as pain for other people turn me on. Whipping and what-have-you. *handwaves*
That's not the important part.
The important part is the fact that in all these fics, I keep hearing about the pain aspect of it, or the fic is told from the pain-giver's PoV. (and I can bet that anyone reading this is going to be like "...but Zene, it's MASOCHISM, hello PAIN" but see, that's where you're wrong.)
For me, I don't feel pain. Like, I CAN feel it. Certain things, like hot glue or cuts, do register as pain normally. I stub my toe and that shit is PAINFUL. But on the flip side, I can also (this is a true story) get my lanyard caught on my desk and it will drag across the back of my neck, giving me a small case of ropeburn on my neck and causing me to have to sit at my desk for a few minutes while I try to get my breathing back under control and my eyes are having trouble focusing because that felt so good.
But the point is that, while getting the ropeburn was a painful thing, I never actually FELT any of it. I didn't actively feel pain, I just registered it as "rough texture, feels good" and it was hard enough that it felt REALLY good.
So really, my point is that I don't know if any of the people writing the fics are actually masochists, because I'm not always sure that they know how it really feels. Because, let me tell you, pain does NOT come into it. IF there's a bit of a bite to it, it doesn't feel any different than someone dragging their nails across your skin. A tiny little counterpoint that really just gives a more definite LOCATION for where the pleasure is.
I TOLD YOU ALL THAT
I am totally writing a Seifer/Hayner fic where Hayner's a masochist. It's mostly going to be me exploring how best to explain my own masochism (because, hey, everyone's different, maybe other people DO feel pain? Maybe I just have a really high threshold? I don't know) in terms of fic. Also because Seifer/Hayner is my go-to pairing when kinky shit is about to go down, because I can't get a plotbunny for them to save my life, but DAMN do those boys want to get into bed with each other.
...um.
TL;DR, I'm writing a porny fic with Seifer/Hayner because I am dissatified with general fandom portrayal of masochism.
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 02:12 am (UTC)But yeah, if you saw an N cosplayer with a RED Female!Scout from Team Fortress 2, I was the brown-haired girl following them around all the time. Also, if you caught Dib and Zim on Saturday, I was with them then too.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 04:30 am (UTC)and i did try to look out for a zim and dib on saturday, but i didn't see them!
did you enjoy san japan?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 09:48 am (UTC)To be fair, they were only in the cosplay for ... a few hours? Like, maybe four, from noon to four pm, because the Zim's facepaint got REALLY uncomfortable. After that, they went back to being Scout and N again.
LORD YES. I enjoyed the HELL out of that con. San Japan was a lot of fun this year. ^^ How about you?
no subject
Date: 2011-08-06 06:39 pm (UTC)From his point of view, he tells it as if it is the pain that turns him on, not that it doesn't register as pain (he actually says it hurts REALLY bad but that's the part he likes about it). Things like biting so hard that blood is drawn, whipping/smacking as hard as a person can.... actually, you mentioned the teeth on cock thing? .... is it Tuesday yet?... Okay, welp, tmi Saturday time. He loves it! The first time he asked me to use my teeth I was like.... the fuck? (not like.... chew off the penis bite, but he does enjoy little bites during blowjobs).
Like I said, I don't know much about the subject other then what others and my boyfriend have let me in on, but to me it sounds like he's somewhat of the opposite. With you it's like what normally should hurt turns you one and with him it's the presence of actual pain that turns him on.
I DONNO MAN, maybe all masochists are different with why/how they get turned on by the act?
Anyway, can't wait for the fic, I have to get myself caught up on reading some fic.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 02:22 am (UTC)See, I know that it's pain. Like, I know that it hurts, but I think it just feels so good that I don't notice it? I'm not sure. But I just kinda want to provide the way I react to pain to fandom, because so many fics just go "it hurts and it turns them on because it hurts", instead of "getting past the point where pain turns into pleasure".
Also, the blowjob thing? See, I totally said that boys who were masochists would like that, but everyone else was like "NOOOOOO" so I just believed them.
FOR MY TMI ...SUNDAY: Hnnnnngg, whipping. My birthday present last year was a cat-of-nine-tails to my girlfriend. It is my favorite.
I think that it really does depend from person to person, but omg, thank you for sharing! I like hearing about different thiiiiings~!
(AUGH I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE!!!)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 05:43 am (UTC)I understand, I agree, I don't really read masochist fics, but I do know there are tons of fics that seems like the author is a bit misinformed or not involved in what they are writing about. Just putting in my experience with it. Surprisingly, still not into it myself, but I still participate in it to satisfy him.
Bahaha, I love TMI days.
(GO! WRITE LIKE THE WIND!)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 09:55 am (UTC)It just came up somehow, because I was reading an Inception Kink Meme, and half o the prompts involved slight masochism. For some reason, I just tilted my head and went: "...you know, that's not my experience with masochism. Maybe I should write something." AND LO AND BEHOLD.
TMI days are the best. Tru fax
(WILL TRY!!)
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 09:07 pm (UTC)The first time he asked me to do anything slightly Masochist, he told me to keep going (you know, bite harder or something like that), and I would always pull back and tell him I don't want to hurt him. It took a bit of time for me to catch on to just how much pain he likes and can physically handle before it was too much because I'm not used to people who like the sensation.
Ha, I understand that feel too, I actually have a few fanfiction rants I have stored up somewhere that I should get around to posting.
no subject
Date: 2011-08-08 09:31 pm (UTC)DO EET. I love reading fanfiction rants.