Not dead, just busy, I swear.
ONE MORE WEEK OF WORK. It turns out that I miscalculated last week. I leave work next Thursday. (Hopefully, I won't have another fiasco with that whole "accidentally leaving the porn flash drive at work" thing like I did last year.) SAN JAPAN THIS WEEKEND, SUPER EXCITE!! I might get to see
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pandapplesaurus there, too! *waves* I'll be the person dressed normally with a Red Scout and N Harmonia on Friday and with Dib and Zim on Saturday. (N will be back on Sunday, but I'm not cosplaying this con. Too little time, too much to do)
Um. I'd love to say that I've been writing, but that would be a bare-faced lie. I haven't written a
word of anything outside of fleshing out some ideas since last ... Thursday. What in the world have I been doing in the meantime (as I *cough*erroneously*cough* assume you're wondering)?
Reading.
Like, reading a lot of fic for fandoms that I've just let stew for a while. Especially you, Inception fandom, hello there THard and JGL and all of the sexy that comes along with you. *cough* That aside... There's one thing that I've been noticing a lot of. In fics, in general, not just Inception fics, and I'm not exactly sure how to go about talking about it.
Well.
Um.
Masochism.
As in, getting off on recieving pain, etc etc, you all read fics, you know what I'm talking about.
I don't... I don't like how it's portrayed in fics, because
for me it's not an accurate description. (It's like reading the parts in blowjob fics where the author mentions teeth-on-cock during the blowjob, and I have heard from multiple guys, straight, gay, bi, that that does
not, in
any way, feel good.) Because I am a masochist. Things that should register as pain for other people turn me on. Whipping and what-have-you. *handwaves*
That's not the important part.
The important part is the fact that in all these fics, I keep hearing about the
pain aspect of it, or the fic is told from the pain-giver's PoV. (and I can bet that anyone reading this is going to be like "...but Zene, it's MASOCHISM, hello PAIN" but see, that's where you're wrong.)
For me, I
don't feel pain. Like, I CAN feel it. Certain things, like hot glue or cuts, do register as pain normally. I stub my toe and that shit is PAINFUL. But on the flip side, I can also (this is a true story) get my lanyard caught on my desk and it will drag across the back of my neck, giving me a small case of ropeburn on my neck and causing me to have to sit at my desk for a few minutes while I try to get my breathing back under control and my eyes are having trouble focusing because that felt so good.
But the point is that, while getting the ropeburn was a painful thing, I never actually FELT any of it. I didn't actively feel pain, I just registered it as "rough texture, feels good" and it was hard enough that it felt REALLY good.
So really, my point is that I don't know if any of the people writing the fics are actually masochists, because I'm not always sure that they know how it really feels. Because, let me tell you, pain does NOT come into it. IF there's a bit of a bite to it, it doesn't feel any different than someone dragging their nails across your skin. A tiny little counterpoint that really just gives a more definite LOCATION for where the pleasure is.
I TOLD YOU ALL THAT
TO EMBARRASS YOU SO I COULD TELL YOU THIS:
I am totally writing a Seifer/Hayner fic where Hayner's a masochist. It's mostly going to be me exploring how best to explain my own masochism (because, hey, everyone's different, maybe other people DO feel pain? Maybe I just have a really high threshold? I don't know) in terms of fic. Also because Seifer/Hayner is my go-to pairing when kinky shit is about to go down, because I can't get a plotbunny for them to save my life, but DAMN do those boys want to get into bed with each other.
...um.
TL;DR, I'm writing a porny fic with Seifer/Hayner because I am dissatified with general fandom portrayal of masochism.![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
